Tonight-into-tomorrow will be three months. It was the evening of December 29–and then into the early hours of the 30th that we had to say goodbye.
Tomorrow will be thirteen weeks. It was a Wednesday night into Thursday morning.
Last Monday–March 21st–a song came on the radio as I pulled into a parking spot…and stuck me in my seat, ultimately breaking me down into tears for the first significant time in weeks. I probably sat in the car for another 15-20 minutes composing myself to be able to go into the store.
Casting Crowns’ “Scars in Heaven.” Lyrics copy/pasted from google below; bold is my own emphasis. Even tonight typing, I’ve fought tears.
The song speaks for itself…
If I had only known the last time would be the last time
I would’ve put off all the things I had to do
I would’ve stayed a little longer, held on a little tighter
Now what I’d give for one more day with you
‘Cause there’s a wound here in my heart where something’s missing
And they tell me that it’s gonna heal with time
But I know you’re in a place where all your wounds have been erased
And knowing yours are healed is healing mine
The only scars in Heaven, they won’t belong to me and you
There’ll be no such thing as broken, and all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now, even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in Heaven are on the hands that hold you now
I know the road you walked was anything but easy
You picked up your share of scars along the way
Oh, but now you’re standing in the sun, you’ve fought your fight and your race is run
The pain is all a million miles away
The only scars in Heaven, they won’t belong to me and you
There’ll be no such thing as broken, and all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now, even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in Heaven, yeah, are on the hands that hold you now
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, for the hands that hold you now
There’s not a day goes by that I don’t see you
You live on in all the better parts of me
Until I’m standing with you in the sun, I’ll fight this fight and this race I’ll run
Until I finally see what you can see, oh-oh
The only scars in Heaven, they won’t belong to me and you
There’ll be no such thing as broken, and all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now, even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in Heaven are on the hands that hold you now
The Life of Walt 