The Lion King…and seeing myself in Simba

I remember seeing The Great Mouse Detective as a kid. Whether accurate or not, the memory I have of it is seeing it in the theater, with Mom and Dad.

Then there’s The Land Before Time…the first movie I remember knowing about in advance and looking forward TO. While I associate that with Mom taking me and such…I do recall it was Dad who bought that first VHS (which I still have around here somewhere!) and thus wound up getting a VHS machine to play it so I could actually watch the thing (he’d been a Betamax person).

1989 gave us The Little Mermaid which I don’t really associate with either parent…I remember seeing something on tv as a kid about it and behind the scenes stuff with the animation and how many drawings it took to animate a single second, though.

I remember being taken to the original TMNT film; while I think both parents were there, it’s Dad I most remember and associate with that one…particularly an entertaining-to-me story he told of quoting the movie at work afterward. I also associate him with TMNT II; with being excited that day at school to go see it.

Then there’s 1992’s Aladdin. While I remember both parents present for that first time in the theater, there’s something to it that I now–as I type/think/remember–associate with Dad. I think it may have been a “double header” movie night; one of those “see THIS film, then catch the premiere of Aladdin” deals or some such. (Could have been some other films, but hey…) And maybe it’s the work of years-later memories and stuff mashing up in my mind…especially Robin Williams’ bit about the creation of Golf…that gives me another association with Dad and the film. While he definitely had a sense of humor, it was never the almost manic energy of Williams or the Genie.


But The Lion King…1994. That one was another big one for me; maybe the biggest of my Disney-Four. Seeing the film itself. Seeing stuff on tv about it. Reading stuff in the newspaper about it. Hearing the Elton John versions of a couple of the main songs on the radio regularly.

And whether it was immediate, or came about more gradually over repeat viewings, memories, etc…I’m pretty sure The Lion King was the first time I may have ever contemplated actually losing Dad. While it may have been more during college that stuff particularly sank in on it for me, even that was half a lifetime ago or more, so I can only really–and only really CARE TO now–speak on it as it hits me right now in 2022.

There are scenes from that film burned into my mind, and memories of being moved to tears, or almost to tears, at different times. The early scenes between Mufasa and Simba; the way Simba looked up to Mufasa, was excited to learn from him, eager to be like him. That scene where Simba steps into a paw print from Mufasa. Saying he wanted to be like Mufasa. Their bonding even after Mufasa gives Simba the extremely stern talking-to. That idea of hearing one’s father say they were disappointed…learning from it, not wanting to disappoint, etc.

I remember seeing a live production of the show in Toronto in 2001. Getting a copy of that version of the soundtrack. Some of the extra songs and such on that that were not part of the animated soundtrack or film. One of the tracks’ titles that as I’m typing now I can’t remember for sure–maybe “Remember Who You Are” or such; and more of the Simba/Mufasa thing. I also remember being impacted by the show itself, one of the Mufasa/Simba scenes where the actors actually take off the masks and you just see them…father and son. Powerful.

And even now as I’m typing, I’m tearing up as I gather my thoughts and try to find the words I want.

“He Lives in You” is probably that track, not “Remember Who You Are.”

Rafiki and Simba. Simba asking “You knew my father?” And Rafiki ‘correcting’ him. “I KNOW your father. You see…he lives in you!” And Simba seeing his reflection and how very much he looked like Mufasa. (forget the fact that to humans, lions probably mostly look the same and stuff like that).

“The clouds.” Simba “seeing” Mufasa. That voice, telling him to “Remember…who you are…” That such a huge part of Simba IS Mufasa, and their relationship. Mufasa’s example. Simba striving to match his father, follow in his footsteps, that his father is….was…his hero, someone to be looked up to.

And the part the echoes all too authentically, that became all too real, that has “broken” me a number of times in the last 7 1/2 weeks, that even now leaves me having to collect myself to even type about it.

Founded or not, Simba’s guilt…hurt…anger…disappointment…loss.

“You said you’d always BE there for me!”

“But you’re not. And it’s because of me.”


And my mind wants to leap to splicing a bit from an old Batman audiocomic. “…so many ghosts. So many memories…”

2014: My “movie year” with Dad…

Back in late 2013 into early 2015, Dad and I had a DEFFFFFINITE “year of movies.”

See, I was in visiting MOST weekends. And there was a redbox outside a gas station a couple of blocks from my parents’ house…along my route to GET there. So it was literally a matter of pull in one driveway, pull up to the machine, pick a movie or two, swipe my card, get the discs, hop back in the car, and be at the house.

And for basically ALL of 2014, MANY Friday nights were “redbox nights” with Dad. Also had movies that I flat-out BOUGHT, whether “new” or cheapo-bin stuff; or already had; or Netflix, or something from the library. Some nights, we’d end up getting through TWO movies in one sitting. Most often, though, it was at least one movie per weekend, if not a couple.

I realized I still had a LIST of those movies that I kept in 2014. I can’t remember for CERTAIN on all of them which ones Dad and I for sure watched together, but I’ve got the entire list below, and marked with an asterisk the ones that are pretty likely we watched together (and some of them included Mom watching, but she often wasn’t a fan of much of what we’d watch).

And that’s another thing I’ve had in my mind lately: trying to think of “favorite movies” that Dad had. And I feel horrible and rotten and all that that I really can’t think of any. Like…no singular movie that I knew of, KNOW of, can recall offhand that he considered any particular “favorite.”

I know that he watched TONS of movies, especially the last few years, that he’d randomly check out on Netflix, Hulu, and other streaming apps…not to mention random stuff he’d DVR from tv. And even with all our Redbox nights, he always vastly PREFERRED high-action flicks; not necessarily VIOLENT, but stuff that was exciting to watch with plenty of action, stunts, etc.

And that would be my criteria a lot of times: “just some action-looking flick.” Or back then, we’d have some idea of stuff that had been in theaters that would be “coming soon to home media” that we’d LOOK FORWARD TO watching together. There were movies that I specifically passed on seeing in the theater, so that I could see them with him. (Other times, even if I had seen a film in the theater, I would enjoy watching it AGAIN with him!) And there were times that it’d turn out HE had already seen a movie, but he’d be glad to watch it again with ME.

Just the other day I was in Walmart, and kinda muddled along and found myself in the movie section…looking for a movie that we might watch together.

And I’m increasingly regretful of allllll the evenings the past several years that I was “content” to just watch “whatever” on my own. That I didn’t MAKE more time, put in MORE EFFORT, to just grab something, and go watch a movie with him.

While I got to share SOME of the earlier Marvel Cinematic Universe films with him, I had wanted/intended to make a point of sharing the ALL. Especially after a new medical scare back in 2018 that I’ll forever associate with my seeing The Meg by myself in a theater and crying; I’d had these grand intentions of “subjecting” him to the entirety of the Marvel films, in order.

We got through Iron Man.

I think we’d started Iron Man 2, but he wasn’t feeling wonderful that night or something, or it just wasn’t grabbing him, and he was falling asleep and…we just never finished it.

I THINK I got to watch Spider-Man: Homecoming with him; as I think about it, I remember some scene with Spidey and the (Washington Monument?) that we both agreed was rather spectacular (and not something we’d actually want to watch in “3-D”). I also know he and Mom actually (with zero prompting from ME!) watched Spider-Man: Far From Home one time without me!

Even as recently as the afternoon of the 29th, I was “planning” to–once he was back home–giving the whole run of films another go with him (and Mom).

Regretting that I let the “project” slip off into taking-time-for-granted-land for so very long…far longer than intended.

But now I’m headed down a mental path I need to leave alone; so gonna just end this post with the aforementioned list of 2014 films that I myself saw–and WordPress seems to have transformed my asterisks to bullets, next to the ones I’m reasonably confident Dad also saw (with me).


  • 2014:
    Cars
    Cars 2
  • Red 2
    The Day After Tomorrow
    We Bought a Zoo
    Firefly: The Complete Series
    Serenity
    Man of Steel
    Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
  • Taken
  • Captain Phillips
  • Escape Plan
  • 42
    The Terminator
    Terminator 2: Judgment Day
  • Taken 2
    The Croods
    Frozen
    Patch Adams
    As Good as It Gets
  • The Trouble With the Curve
    The Sound of Music
    Frozen
    Saving Mr. Banks
  • Paranoia
  • It Could Happen To You
  • Gravity
  • Old Boy (2013)
    Frozen
  • Saving Mr. Banks
    Cliffhanger
    The Vow
    Life as We Know It
    LOL
    Braveheart
    Just Go With It
    Captain America: The Winter Soldier
  • Reasonable Doubt
    Titanic
    Divergent
    Something Borrowed
    The Spectacular Now
    Failure to Launch
    Drinking Buddies
    The Notebook
    Facing the Giants
  • Star Trek: Into Darkness
    Easy A
  • Grudge Match
    Dear John
    40 Days and 40 Nights
    This Means War
    Mean Girls
    The Change-Up
  • The Switch
  • The Island
    Next
    Faster
    Avengers
    Mary Poppins
  • Fast and Furious 6
    Grumpy Old Men
  • Blitz
    Grumpier Old Men
    The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
    Frozen
  • 12 Years a Slave
    X-Men: Days of Future Past
    The Contract
    Cloverfield
  • Wanted
  • The Takers
    Swingers
    Cop Out
    30 Days of Night
  • Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
  • Poseidon Rex
    Independence Day
    Starship Troopers 3: Marauder
    Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
  • Red Dawn
    Jurassic Park III
    The Lost World: Jurassic Park (2)
  • Non-Stop
    Robocop
  • Primeval
    Saving Mr. Banks
    Pulp Fiction
    Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
    Her
    The Lego Movie
  • 3 Days to Kill
    Philomena
    300
    Guardians of the Galaxy
    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
    Batman: Assault on Arkham
  • Rage
  • God’s Not Dead
  • Transcendence
    The Fisher King
    Amazing Spider-Man 2
    The Iron Giant
    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze
    Enough Said
  • Need For Speed
  • In the Blood
  • Draft Day
    The Big Lebowski
    Mrs. Doubtfire
  • Captain America: The Winter Soldier
  • Avengers (2012)
    Friday Night Lights
  • Walking Tall: The Revenge
  • Godzilla (2014)
    TMNT: Turtles Forever
  • Limitless
    Transformers: Age of Extinction
  • Contraband
  • Bullet to the Head
  • The Bank Job
    The Fault in Our Stars
    xxxxx
    Neighbors
    Brick Mansions
    Sextape
    Blended
    Mortal Kombat: Legacy
    Fire With Fire
  • Live Die Repeat: Edge of Tomorrow
    Mortal Kombat
    Mortal Kombat II
    Expendables 3
    The Giver
    Prometheus
    Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever
    Country Strong
    Into the Storm
    Turtle Power: The Definitive History of the TMNT
    The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies
  • Argo
    When the Game Stands Tall
  • Jersey Boys
  • Left Behind (2014)
  • Erased
  • Hercules (2014)
    Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
    Now You See Me