Again it’s been a long time.
Six and a half months, actually.
I’ve typed a number of “blog posts” in notepad, but I’ve gotten out what I needed to in writing for myself, and not gotten around to posting.
Since my last post, finished out that fourth cycle with Griefshare.
Went through the fifth.
And now, started a sixth.
But while I think I’ve thought it each time since that first cycle in 2022, this time I think there’s something different in store. Something I noticed in that fifth cycle, but more apparent (to me) for this one. We’ll see how that plays out…
I recently had a Keith Anderson song come up in my itunes-on-random that “hit” me in its way.
“I Still Miss You.”
I’ve talked to friends
I’ve talked to myself
I’ve talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I’ve been strong and I’ve been weak
And I still miss you
I’ve done everything move on like I’m supposed to
I’d give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you
[…]
I never knew til you were gone
How many pages you were on
It never ends I keep turning
And line after line and you are there again
This past Friday night, a friend called me and told me to “Step outside and look up.”
Puzzled, I stepped outside, and he told me I was looking for the Northern Lights.
Visible here in Ohio.
I couldn’t see ’em…but partly wrote it off as being light pollution on the street, and trees in the way and all that.
I almost “gave up” at that, but he encouraged me to take a drive to see ’em.
I was going to tell Mom I was heading out for a bit, but realized that was dumb. Like the Eclipse, she’d appreciate it, too! So I got her, and Daisey, and we drove to Osborne park. I figured it’d be dark and we could get in, see over the lake, and be back out before any “trouble” from any “enforcement” of the dusk closing time to the park.
We by far were NOT the only ones with that idea.
It turned out to be an impromptu “community event” of sorts.
Nothing official or organized (at least from our part or aware of), but the parking lot was full, and the “cliff” overlooking the lake was full, with more people working their way up to there as others cycled out.
We couldn’t really see anything noticeable (later turned out it was a lot more visible via iphone photography). But for what was to be seen, we saw.
And Daisey was such a good girl, even with all the strangers about…and even a couple other dogs, too.
I don’t know that the park was handicap-accessible…or certainly not at night. I’m sure to the ballfields and such there’s sidewalks/paths that Dad’s power chair could’ve used. Come to think of it, though, if we’d had him along it would’ve been the “manual” chair, so I would’ve made it work.
Got back about midnight, Mom and Daisey went to bed. I stayed up…and wound up watching a couple more episodes of Young Sheldon.
I’d discovered that I was further behind than I realized, AND saw that we (were) a week away from the season (series) finale. So I wanted to be caught up, to “be part of” the experience of watching the finale this upcoming week.
I’d seen stuff before about the folks making the show knowing that a pivotal event was going to have to be “dealt with.” And there’s been talk of a spinoff-of-the-spinoff (Young Sheldon as a spinoff of Big Bang Theory) with George (Jr.) and Mandy.
I figured I knew where the final episode would be going/what was likely to at least be offscreen at some point.
I was NOT prepared for it to happen with the May 10th episode.
Part of the episode was Mary insisting everyone be ready for the staged family picture; and the reluctance of the kids (and even her husband, George Sr.).
George offered to drive Missy to school, but she opted for the bus…so he left that morning as any other morning, to head to the school himself for work (he’s the football coach). “Be here at 4!” Mary tells him as he heads out. He agrees, albeit reluctantly.
SPOILERS AHEAD FOR YOUNG SHELDONG SEASON SEVEN EPISODE TWELVE!!! Skip ahead to “END SPOILERS” lines below if you want to avoid details.
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The family’s shown getting ready for the photo, in matching outfits. They’re just waiting on George.
A knock at the door…it’s Tom and Wayne (Principal and assistant coach, respectively). With bad news.
George had a heart attack.
“He’s ok, right?!?” Missy asks.
He’s not. He’s gone.
We see Mary, Missy, and Connie break down…as Sheldon further inside sits down in shock.
The episode ends.
…
I didn’t expect it there. Then. With that episode.
Since it would have to be addressed, despite retcons and seven seasons turning George into quite the beloved character and father figure (compared to the ignorant, dumb a-hole TBBT made him out to be), I’d thought for sure the way they’d “address” the elephant in the room was to imply it at the very end…but let it happen off-screen…just after the finale, or however long after the finale…but after the show, and before whenever George and Mandy picks up.
But “it” happened offscreen, and that’s that.
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It wasn’t until SATURDAY night then that I realized why the episode was “sitting” with me as it did. On the surface I took it as a foregone thing, one of those things you KNOW is coming, thanks to the story in question being a prequel and already having seen the show it’s a prequel TO.
And then it hit me just why it was sitting so heavily with me…
Duhhh.
Taking to Youtube Search, I found several videos recapping/discussing the episode…but seemed like it was all surfacey hollywood-type sites…nothing “personal” from anyone. And saw a “thumbnail” of an image from some preview of the upcoming finale that just…gut-punched me.
So much more I could say, get into. Thoughts and discussions recently with friends. Self-realization. Finding myself closer than ever to accepting something I’ve railed against (for myself) for years.
But this is getting long, I’m getting tired, and it’s Sunday night with a full work-week ahead, and things’re getting busy.
Hopefully I’ll get back to writing more regularly, even if only for myself.
Time, as always, shall tell, though.
Also in the past 6 1/2 months, adopted Lucy. Sarah no longer yowls and hisses at the mere presence of Lucy…though she does make it known she does not appreciate being tackled and grappled with.
More later on Lucy…
The Life of Walt 